Tag Archives: PAL

The mokong year that was 2011

Let’s stop for a while, look back and listen mokongly to the stories of 2011 and we’ll see na maraming kamokongan took place that made our light moments satisfactorily, exemplary, extra ordinary and funny.

I picked some of them based on my mokong  judgement. Here they are in no particular order.

I invoke my right to self incrimination

Actually “I invoke my right to self incrimination” is my quote of the year.  Try using this to people who ask you questions you don’t want to answer and you’ll definitely piss the person out.

There was this student who answered the same during a recitation exam and he succeeded in getting the reply he deserves.

And remember to do it unli.

PNoy’s lovelife

News worthy ang dating, especially when he compared it to coke lights.  Besides media na affected by this one liner of his, the coke competitor pepsi was also pushed to resbak by launching it’s own advertisement that went something like “turn your Zero lovelife to Maxx.  I heard Pepsi even considered getting GMA to deliver their version but they changed their mind.  Imagine GMA saying “turn your zero lovelife to maxx,” with braces in her neck.

Because of this PNoy has earned the respect of Boy Pick-up and he definitely showed the mokong republic that he deserves to be our mokong president.

Queen of pick up lines

Hindi naman nagpatalo ang ating Senadora.  She stole the mokong limelight from PNoy’s one-liner when she answered back with lots of pick-up lines every time she delivers her speech in almost all occasions.

Because of this, Party Clowns and Comedians feared that they have to change their gimmicks before they have their jobs enforcedly disappeared. They considered running for Senator this coming election or for President.  Imagine Miting De Abanse will no longer be as boring as usual.  We’ll have politicos throwing pick up lines to each other instead of muds and blackprops.

Mokong Candidate1: Presidente ka ba?
Mokong Candidate2: Hindi. Baket?
Mokong Candidate1: Zero kasi  lovelife mo e.

Now that Senator Defensor has been chosen as ICC judge, will she still bring her pick-up lines with her?

GMA’s Mug Shot

According to GMA detractors, Karma has brought upon her what she deserves. Although it came a little late, at least It came before 2011 ends.

According to her supporters, if this is karma, then PNoy will have his karma too. And include De Lima.
Oo nga no, following this logic, mokong din pala ang karma. Ang basurang itinapon mo ay babalik din sa ‘yo.   Kaya pala nakakarma tayo, kasi we get who we vote for.

GMA arrest was like a circus in town.  A circus in NAIA to be exact. GMA camp tried to win sympathy by pushing it so hard for GMA to fly out of the country for medication purposes.  Complete with costumes and props, the scene in the airport became media ops.  Even her mugshot became one of the most talked about mokong photos of 2011.

In her room in Veterans Hospital, there was a mokong info na she planned to do planking to protest for her arrest kaya lang she was not allowed to have communications gadgets inside, na sana she will use to post her photos sa FB niya.

Vote for your Mokong Photo of the Year,

GMA Mugshot or  Philippine Volcano

Palaparan fears for his life

Bida naman ang kontradiksiyon sa mga nangyari kay Palparan. Like the hunter became the hunted.
Palparan should have been out of the country before Lacson and Ramona Revilla.  Hindi na tuloy siya nakalusot sa airport.

Palparan should have won the election e di sana may immunity siya.

Palparan shoul have seen this coming e di sana nakapaghanda siya.

He should have listened to GMAnetwork’s campaign “Magplano, Magsiguro, Makibalita, I’m Ready”.
Palparan feared for his life, meaning insecure? So thats the reason why he had a security agency as his business.

He tried them all but he failed except for his alleged expertise that is making people involuntarily disappeared. He applied this to himself. But he wants it this way unlike Karen and the other alleged victims.
He’s not a butcher. Sabi nga ng kanyang mga Military supporters. This made me recall a famous line in a movie.  The title: Minsan may isang Gamul-gamol. And the lead actor will be a retired General saying,  “Our brother is not a butcher!”
Palaparan fears for his life. Kaya pala there are allegations why he kills people he suspect of being enemies of the state, kesa naman maunahan siya.

What’s the best mokong way to escape prosecution?

Lucio Tan

2011 was like hell both for PALEA members, PAL owner Lucio Tan and PAL customers.

Lucio Tan was complaining that because of the workers’ protest his PALdong bulsa was affected very much.  PALEA members were saying that Tan was lying, according to them PALdo pa rin siya with his other businesses unlike the workers na wala nang naPALang mabuti sa kanya.

The public was divided into whose side to go with.  Sino nga ba ang problema?

SC spokesperson gender in question

Nang gawing issue ang gender ni SC spokesperson Midas Marques,  nagpista ang mga mokong. As if they have been waiting for this to compete with Piolo Pascual. Hahaha!

Does being gay matter to be the SC spokesperson?

 

Wanted Lolong and other crocs

Let me reveal another Mokong Leaks.  According to an A1 information by our mokong informant working with the administration, there is a secret operation called “OPLAN CROC 2011” that aims to capture all the crocs in the country by hook or by crock in 2011.

Be the first to see the poster that the government supposed to release this year but they decided to keep it confidential. Again this is an A1 Mokong Info.

So who’s your Mokong of the Year for 2011? cast your votes now!

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Would you change your tsunami walk into planking?

Photo source: adventuresofabeautyqueen.com

Natuwa ang marami sa pagkakapanalo ni Miss Shamcey Supsup sa recently concluded Miss Universe.  According to beauty pageant experts it was her natural beauty, her tsunami catwalk and her very Christian and intelligent response sa question and answer portion ang nagpaangat sa kanya sa mahigit 80 kalahok sa nasabing patimpalak.

“Would you change your religious beliefs to marry the person that you love? Why or why not?”

Shamcey replied, “If I had to change my religious beliefs, I would not marry the person that I love because the first person I love is God, who created me. I have my faith and my principles, and this is what makes me who I am. And if that person loves me, he should love my God, too.”

According to unrevealed inside the pageant tsismis, kaya daw nanalo ang Miss. Angola ay dahil sipsip daw ito at walang panama ang Supsup. At kaya daw si Shamcey lang ang walang interpreter ay dahil daw no available interpreter was able to translate Supsup in English.

Ang pagkapanalo ni Shamcey took the Filipinos like Ondoy. Marami ang nakarelate that even politicians ay nakuhang magkumento sa nasabing celebrated na pagkapanalo.

Isang mokong na beauty pageant consultantang nagmagaling, “Shamcey should have bagged the Miss Universe title if she only combined planking with her tsunami walk.”

Napaisip even Lolong the more than 20 foot long crocodile, who has not been taking his meal for weeks now.  Dahil dito ay nilagyan ng CCTV camera ang kanyang kinalalagyan to observe the captive croc.

According to experts ay may language barrier daw between humans and Lolong. Kaya naman pinatawag po natin ang interpreter ni Miss Angola upang malinawan ang nais ipahayag ni Lolong.

According to the mokong interpreter, Lolong was very excited about Shamcey’s catwalk and naispired siyang sumali sa mga beaty pageant. It was clear that Lolong is willing to change his beliefs for the love of freedom.  The judges would definitely be surprised with his tsunami walk, and will change the pageant’s catwalk into crocwalk. He will be making our country proud dahil siguradong makukuha niya ang korona ng the biggest croc in the universe.

And lastly, Lolong told the Mokong interpreter that if he will not be given the opportunity to represent our country in the Guinness book of world record, he will be protesting by Planking. Expert nga naman siya sa planking, all his life nakaplanking siya.

He has been in hunger strike for weeks now and hindi lang nahalata pero naka-planking talaga siya.

Because of this, a mokong source revealed that Congressman Winni Castello of  District 2 of Quezon City was planning to change his proposed anti- planking law.  He plans to include crocodiles too in his bill.

Isang protesta ‘di umano ang pinaplano laban sa anti-planking bill, a mass-planking action day, date and venue to follow.

But the bill according to mokongs will not make it to the finals. Hindi papayag ang mga mambabatas that crocs will be included in the bill.

Napag-alaman din that a known business tycoon will not support Castello’s anti-planking act.  Balak pa naman niya mag-planking to protest laban sa hindi pagpayag sa kanyang contractualization scheme sa kanyang businesses.   Planking while flying.

Meanwhile sa isang presscon sa Malakanyang, isang pang-beuaty pageant na tanong ang ipinukol ng isang mokong na reporter kay PNoy, “Paano na lang po kung magsabay-sabay ang transport strike sa katapusan? Tigil pasada ng Jeepney drivers dahil sa oil price hike, bus operators’ strike dahil sa toll fee, at PAL employees strike dahil sa Contractualization, would you change your beliefs to marry the pinoys that you love kuno?”

PNoy answered, “kaya nga ang love ko for the pinoys ay parang coca cola, nung campaign period regular, nung manalo na ako naging light, ngayon ZERO na.”

Laging tatandaan…ang maniwala at mapikon ay Mokong lang po.

The Mokong survey: from zero to max

Have you heard or seen the AD, nakisakay na rin ang Pepsi sa mokong na banat ni PNoy? Regarding his love life that he compared to Coke Zero.

Pepsi released a FULL PAGE print ad with the tagline “Lovelife? Go from zero to MAX”

Bilang pagpapatuloy ng ating katuwaan, we went to the street, the mall, churches, beaches and gimmick places, and asked an almost the same question to ordinary people. We converted the mokong banat into a mokong survey and here are their responses…

We approached Ligaya, the main character in Rosanna Roces starrer film in the 90s “Ligaya ang itawag mo sa akin” and we asked her. “Kamusta lovelife Ligaya?” she answered with grace “Eto magang-maga.”

It was such a mokong banat Ligaya! Hahaha!

As we continue our kamokongan.  We went to a group of jeepney drivers and asked them, “Kamusta po ang lovelife?” they answered, “Dati basta driver sweet lover, naging barya lang sa umaga, ngayon barya na lang araw-araw.”

Hindi pa nagkasya namataan namin ang isang pormadong binata.  We found out that he is working as a mechanic in Philippine Airlines. We asked him, “Kamusta naman ang lovelife?” He answered, “Dati regular, naging contractual na, ngayon ma-si-zero pa.”

Narinig pala ng isang passersby ang aming usapan.  He introduced himself as a resident of an Urban Poor. He told us that he wanted to share his answer to us. “Ok kamusta lovelife mo?” he answered, “Dati squatter, naging illegal settler, ngayon homeless na. maiisip pa ba naming ang lovelife?”

We decided to proceed with our Mokong survey to the senate and we asked one senator, “Sir kamusta po ang lovelife?” he looked at us annoyed and he answered, “Huwag niyo akong pangunahan!”

Napikon yata namin kaya naman we decided to go to the lower house instead.  We chanced upon a young congress woman, we asked, “kamusta po ang lovelife?” she answered, “Huwag niyong dalhin dito ang pagiging brat niyo!”

More Mokong survey to come…