ISYUNG HR: The right to “ Wha!” and the right to cover your ears!
Kahit hindi ka mahilig sa current events, kaya kang abutin ng bagong salitang pinasikat nanaman ni Sen. Meriam. “Wha!” ano nga ba ang ibig sabihin nito? Ano nga kaya ang pagkakaintindi ng madlang pipol dito? Let’s try this in a social experiment…
Hinggil ito sa pagtatakip ng tenga ni Private Prosecutor Lawyer Vitaliano Aguirre habang nagpupulandit ang laway ni Sen Meriam ng mga “Gago” etc.
The right to expression or freedom of expression… ito nga ba ang maaring idahilan ng magkabilang panig?
Mahirap naman daw pagpaliwanangin pa ang bawat isa. So let’s say walang pali-paliwanag, kanino ka kakampi sa dalawang ito? Kailangan pa bang imemorize ‘yan? Katuwaan lang po… pindutin na ‘yan!
SINO sa dalawa ang tama? Sen Meriam o Atty. Aguirre? Express your Wah or cover your ears..
Kung Hei Fat Choy! Happy Chinese New Year! Yes, I will join the band wagon of happy Chinese new year celebration greetings. Greetings lang naman can’t afford to join the buying of lucky charms and feng sui items for the celebration. Hehehe! And also, just can’t ignore the most talked about year of the water dragon and the good lucks and bad lucks that come with it. It’s better than the “end of the world” paranoia. Hahaha!
Usong-uso nanaman ang mga horoscope at feng shui. Lucky charms and tikoys. Siyempre hindi naman ito bago sa ‘tin at hindi rin off para sa mga Pinoys. Kung paanong tayo ay may halo-halong pamahiin at paniniwala na dinala sa atin ng mga sumakop na mga dayuhan kaya no wonder we adapt effortless.
Our mokong team invited a mokong expert to give us some mokong lucky and not so lucky tips for 2012 or the year of the water dragon and things to do to make kontra the malas. We are addressing these tips siyempre pa sa ating mga masusuwerteng business tycoons.
Here is our Mokong’s fearless HRScope…
According to this mokong expert this year is going to be a transformational life-changing year! It’s a good year to improve oneself, take calculated risks and to build wealth. The year 2012 holds much promise and a major transition is in store for everyone. Whether it turns extremely good or really bad, depends on how a person rides the mighty dragon.
Mokong: Paano nga kaya sumakay sa isang dragon? Senator Judge Panday knows.
Hindi ba’t nang maimbento ata ang salitang swerte ay ang mga pulitikong ito ang agad na nakaalam at nakasalo. Akalain mong 2012 is a good year for them to improve… their wealth!
Good year din daw ang year na ito for business dragons like Lucio Tan and Henry Sy. But again, according to Chinese forecast, whether it turns extremely good or really bad, depends on how a person rides the mighty dragon.
Mokong: Maaring hindi man sila swerte pero alam naman nila ang pangontra sa malas.
Mokong na expert: Lucio Tan will attract luck because buwaya looks like a dragon. But take extra caution on declaring na lugi negosyo, baka magkatotoo, don’t tell a lie, ‘wag mag-deny. Para naman sa mga manggagawa ng PAL. You may not be as lucky as Lucio Tan, but you are the mighty dragon in the forecast na, “…whether it turns extremely good or really bad, depends on how a person rides the mighty dragon.” Pahabol sa mga sasakay ng PAL, remember water dragon… baka sa water kayo pulutin.
Mokong: Buti na lang boycott ako sa PAL! Hehehe!
Mokong na expert: Henry Sy will see. Gold from green equals GREED. Cutting trees will bring you malas. Sige ka SM baguio will slide down the slope if trees will be cut. Maswerte sayo ang kulay na gold, but the water dragon will send you water kung ipapuputol mo ang mga puno.
Mokong na expert: Pahabol sa dalawang Chinese, what is common among the two? Besides being Chinese.
Mokong: Greed ba ‘yan?
Imagine playing Pinoy henyo. The secret word will be “GREED” and the contestants will be asking…
Let’s stop for a while, look back and listen mokongly to the stories of 2011 and we’ll see na maraming kamokongan took place that made our light moments satisfactorily, exemplary, extra ordinary and funny.
I picked some of them based on my mokong judgement. Here they are in no particular order.
Actually “I invoke my right to self incrimination” is my quote of the year. Try using this to people who ask you questions you don’t want to answer and you’ll definitely piss the person out.
There was this student who answered the same during a recitation exam and he succeeded in getting the reply he deserves.
And remember to do it unli.
News worthy ang dating, especially when he compared it to coke lights. Besides media na affected by this one liner of his, the coke competitor pepsi was also pushed to resbak by launching it’s own advertisement that went something like “turn your Zero lovelife to Maxx. I heard Pepsi even considered getting GMA to deliver their version but they changed their mind. Imagine GMA saying “turn your zero lovelife to maxx,” with braces in her neck.
Because of this PNoy has earned the respect of Boy Pick-up and he definitely showed the mokong republic that he deserves to be our mokong president.
Hindi naman nagpatalo ang ating Senadora. She stole the mokong limelight from PNoy’s one-liner when she answered back with lots of pick-up lines every time she delivers her speech in almost all occasions.
Because of this, Party Clowns and Comedians feared that they have to change their gimmicks before they have their jobs enforcedly disappeared. They considered running for Senator this coming election or for President. Imagine Miting De Abanse will no longer be as boring as usual. We’ll have politicos throwing pick up lines to each other instead of muds and blackprops.
Mokong Candidate1: Presidente ka ba?
Mokong Candidate2: Hindi. Baket?
Mokong Candidate1: Zero kasi lovelife mo e.
Now that Senator Defensor has been chosen as ICC judge, will she still bring her pick-up lines with her?
According to GMA detractors, Karma has brought upon her what she deserves. Although it came a little late, at least It came before 2011 ends.
According to her supporters, if this is karma, then PNoy will have his karma too. And include De Lima.
Oo nga no, following this logic, mokong din pala ang karma. Ang basurang itinapon mo ay babalik din sa ‘yo. Kaya pala nakakarma tayo, kasi we get who we vote for.
GMA arrest was like a circus in town. A circus in NAIA to be exact. GMA camp tried to win sympathy by pushing it so hard for GMA to fly out of the country for medication purposes. Complete with costumes and props, the scene in the airport became media ops. Even her mugshot became one of the most talked about mokong photos of 2011.
In her room in Veterans Hospital, there was a mokong info na she planned to do planking to protest for her arrest kaya lang she was not allowed to have communications gadgets inside, na sana she will use to post her photos sa FB niya.
Bida naman ang kontradiksiyon sa mga nangyari kay Palparan. Like the hunter became the hunted.
Palparan should have been out of the country before Lacson and Ramona Revilla. Hindi na tuloy siya nakalusot sa airport.
Palparan should have won the election e di sana may immunity siya.
Palparan shoul have seen this coming e di sana nakapaghanda siya.
He should have listened to GMAnetwork’s campaign “Magplano, Magsiguro, Makibalita, I’m Ready”.
Palparan feared for his life, meaning insecure? So thats the reason why he had a security agency as his business.
He tried them all but he failed except for his alleged expertise that is making people involuntarily disappeared. He applied this to himself. But he wants it this way unlike Karen and the other alleged victims.
He’s not a butcher. Sabi nga ng kanyang mga Military supporters. This made me recall a famous line in a movie. The title: Minsan may isang Gamul-gamol. And the lead actor will be a retired General saying, “Our brother is not a butcher!”
Palaparan fears for his life. Kaya pala there are allegations why he kills people he suspect of being enemies of the state, kesa naman maunahan siya.
2011 was like hell both for PALEA members, PAL owner Lucio Tan and PAL customers.
Lucio Tan was complaining that because of the workers’ protest his PALdong bulsa was affected very much. PALEA members were saying that Tan was lying, according to them PALdo pa rin siya with his other businesses unlike the workers na wala nang naPALang mabuti sa kanya.
The public was divided into whose side to go with. Sino nga ba ang problema?
SC spokesperson gender in question
Nang gawing issue ang gender ni SC spokesperson Midas Marques, nagpista ang mga mokong. As if they have been waiting for this to compete with Piolo Pascual. Hahaha!
Does being gay matter to be the SC spokesperson?
Wanted Lolong and other crocs
Let me reveal another Mokong Leaks. According to an A1 information by our mokong informant working with the administration, there is a secret operation called “OPLAN CROC 2011” that aims to capture all the crocs in the country by hook or by crock in 2011.
Be the first to see the poster that the government supposed to release this year but they decided to keep it confidential. Again this is an A1 Mokong Info.
So who’s your Mokong of the Year for 2011? cast your votes now!
Usong uso ang pamatay na pick-up lines nitong 2011. Kaya naman sumubok ang ilang mga Mokong at Mokang to draft their own bilang pamaskong handog…eto ang Mokong banat and pick-up lines, one more time…
Mokang: (to Palparan) Lakwatsero ka ba?
Palparan: Bakit? Kasi hanggang sa panaginip mo nakakarating ako.
Mokang: Hindi. Hindi ka kasi mahuli-huli e.
Rights groups: (to Palparan) Sana ulan ka at lupa na lang ako.
Palparan: Bakit? Para kahit gaano kalakas ang patak ko, sa iyo pa rin ang bagsak ko? Hehehe.
Rights groups: Hindi. Para kahit makatakas ka at makalipad, sa kin pa rin ang bagsak mo at nang mapakulong kita. Hehehe!
Palparan: Hindi naman ako tubig. Pero bakit sila uhaw sa ‘kin?
Mokong: Hindi kami uhaw sa ‘yo. Uhaw kami sa hustisya!
Mokong: (to PNoy)May kakambal ka ba?
PNoy: Wala. Bakit? Kasi I’m in your heart, yet I’m in your mind.
Mokong: Buti na lang wala kang kakambal. Hahaha!
Biktima ng Sendong: (to illegal loggers) Maghanda ka na ng salbabida… Illegal loggers: Kasi lulunurin mo ako sa pagmamahal mo.
Biktima ng Sendong: Hindi. Lulunurin kita sa baha!
Biktima: (to all greedy businessmen) Bagyo ka ba?
Biktima: Kasi the moment you left my area of responsibility,
You leave my life in the state of calamity
Mokang: (to PNoy) Tuwid na daan ka ba?
PNoy: Oo naman. Kaya nga diretso tayo sa pag-unlad at pagbabago.
Mokang: Oo nga tuwid na daan na may flash flood ng problema.
PALEA: (to Lucio Tan) Para kang tindero ng sigarilyo…
Lucio Tan: Bakit? I give you “HOPE”
PALEA: Hindi. You are our misFORTUNE
Biktima ng HRVs: (to GMA) Lumiliit ka yata?
GMA: Bakit? Dati kasi lampas ulo mo ko, ngayon nasa puso mo na ko?
Biktima: Hindi. Dati hindi ka maikulong, ngayon ang dali mong pagkasyahin sa kulungan.
Sa tagal na ako ay nakabalik heto ang naging salubong sa kin ng isang ka-mokang natin…
Photos extracted from Lipton Commercial
Mokong: Kamusta… kanina ka pa?
Mokang: Kanina… Let’s define kanina!
Mokong: Parang pamilyar…
Mokang: Kanina damo lang siya, ngayon puno na! Kanina naka-crew cut ako, ngayon pangshampoo commercial na. At higit sa lahat… BATA PA KO KANINA!!!
Ganito rin daw ang nangyari kay dating pangulong GMA. Nang matapos niyang maka-settle sa nilipatang silid sa Veterans Hospital, ito daw ang eksena…
Mike: Kamusta, kanina ka pa?
GMA: Kanina… lets define kanina! Kanina nasa St. Luke’s lang ako, ngayon wala na! kanina nakaalis na sana ako ng bansa, kung di dahil sa De Limang yan! At higit sa lahat DATING PRESIDENTE PA AKO KANINA, NGAYON DETAINEE NA!
Mokong: Doods What’s UP?
Mokong 2: UP? Ano ko elevator? Pindut dito Up siya, pindut dito down siya… Up down up down. Ano bang gusto mo pindutin ako? Mahirap maging Up pag marami kang work. Siksikan sa MRT. Mataray ang boss ko. Lagi akong nauubusan ng pitsi-pitsi sa cafeteria. Lagi akong kinakapkapan ng security guard kahit yung iba hindi naman. At higit sa lahat, LAGING NAGSESELOS ANG GF KO SA EX KO…
Ang nangyari daw nang minsang nagkasalubong si PNoy at miyembro ng PALEA.
PNoy: Doods What’s UP?
PALEA: UP? Ano ko eroplano? Tanggal dito Up si Lucio Tan, Tanggal doon down ang manggagawa… Up down up down. Ano bang gusto mo tanggalin kaming lahat? Mahirap maging Up pag wala ka nang work. Mataas ang singil sa MRT. Si Lucio Tan ang boss ko. Lagi akong nauubusan ng pambili ng pitsi-pitsi sa cafeteria. Lagi akong kinakapkapan ng security guard kahit yung iba hindi naman dahil PALEA member ako. At higit sa lahat, WALA NA KAMING PAMPASKO DAHIL SA KAWALANG PAKIALAM MO!
Don't ever change yourself to impress someone, cause they should be impressed that you don't change to please others -- When you are going through something hard and wonder where God is, always remember that the teacher is always quiet during a test --- Unknown