Tag Archives: Agusan del Sur

The hottest way to protest in town- PLANKING!

Photo extracted from reptilepets.co.za

Yes indeed hot na hot ngayon ang planking. Ewan ko na lang kung hindi ka pa napaisip na sumubok. Kung hindi mo pa naintindihan ang plankingmania, tanungin mo si Lolong the more than 20 foot long crocodile. Why? Well fyi, Lolong is an expert, he’s been planking all his life.  Sabi ko nga hindi lang halata!

According to our mokongleaks, it is in fact intentional or no accident why planking and “Tuko-craze” were sensationalized sa halos sabay na pagkakataon.  Besides Lolong the croc kasi, expert ata ang mga Tuko or Gecko sa planking. Imagine planking while chanting “tukkko!” Planking on the wall, planking sa kisame, planking sa likod ng aparador at kung saan-saan pa.

Kaya nga daw mahal sila sa merkado. What might comes next ay gamot na rin ang Planking sa AIDS o Cancer.

“Geckos are small to average sized lizards belonging to the family Gekkonidae, which are found in warm climates throughout the world. Geckos are unique among lizards in their vocalizations, making chirping sounds in social interactions with other geckos. There are 1,196 different species of geckos.” http://geckoinformation.info/

“The rules are simple: you must lie face down, palms flat against your sides, with your feet together and pointing at the floor. Points are awarded for an original location and for the number of spectators and participants involved. You must, of course, have somebody take a photo. Without a photo, you’re just a person lying down.”Tom Meltzer’s article @ guardian.co.uk.

Heto na nga’t may panukalang batas na si Cong Winnie Castello to ban planking sa mga minors at students.

Agad naman itong binara ng mga tumututol.  “Freedom of expression ito and Cong Winnie you have no right to stop us from planking! Kahit sa grades namin!”

A mokong proposal to the U.N. Office of the High Commissioner for Human Rights has been sent.  A Convention for the promotion of the right to planking of human rights defenders.

Photo extracted from planking.mobi

Sa sobrang init ng planking, nasagap ng ating mga mokong na tuko na nagpadala na daw ng pahiwatig si Lucio Tan na ibig nitong magpaturo ng planking.

Photo extracted from forbes.com

Yes, madali lang naman magplanking kaya lang ang gusto daw ni Lucio Tan at handa siyang magbayad ng malaki, ay planking sa ibabaw ng Flag Carrier na pag-aari niya.  Matindi pa ang gusto daw niya ay Planking while Flying bilang panapat sa ginawang mass die-in ng mga members ng PALEA.

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Stressed and irritated croc looms in the diplomatic community – MokongLeaks

Photo extracted from pinoypower.net

It was reported in major dailies that “Lolong” the 20 foot long croc captured in Agusan del Sur last Saturday has not been eating due to stress and irritation.

“Sino ba naman ang makakakain sa ayos kong ito?” Lolong lamented.

Mokongs believed that they have been serving Lolong the wrong food.  A mokong expert said in a statement that crocs like Lolong are fond of Pork placed in a barrel, but the handler of lolong refused to feed him pork to avoid allegations of special treatment.

Kasalukuyan din pong nakaalerto ang mga otoridad dahil sa ulat na may partner si Lolong at napag-alamang maaring kasinglaki rin niya ito.

It was also presumed that the lady crocodile is now looking for her husband and will attack anytime.

The stressed and irritated Mrs. Croc allegedly manifested itself in an event about human rights in Quezon City.  MokongLeaks believe that this might be the lady croc that we have been worried about.

“I am irritated on that girl’s point,” the irritated croc pointed her finger to one of the participants of that workshop.

The question that annoyed this croc was, “if there’s a space for the recommendations of the Civil Society Organizations to be put forward?”

This MokongLeak information is about an ironic attitude that this croc supposedly from our diplomatic community showed the CSO participants of a workshop consultation that was held few days ago in Quezon City.  The workshop was intended to facilitate and collate CSO’s recommendations to a human rights body, siya po ang rep ng ating bansa dito.

“That’s the reason I’m there. If you don’t trust me, you jump in!”  the irritated croc even reacted at the top her lungs with violent sign language.  She did it in her very stressed diplomatic manners.

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